Head Or Heart In Partner Selection
This is a very delicate topic that needs to be looked at and should be more circumspect towards. Divorce rates are quite alarming and are on the rise. For there to be a successful marriage you have to be careful on the decision to make with respect to partner selection. Just because you bond well with someone does not mean they are your soul mates and just because your best friend is the opposite sex does not mean you can live together. The topic in discussion here is whether we are to use our head or heart in partner selection.
We must first note that real love and romantic love are very distinct. Real love is the decision you make to seek the good of your partner no matter the cost. This is where you put the needs of your partner as your top priority and do all that it takes to please him/her. Romantic love is a normal, natural part of most healthy relationships. It is a temporal glue that helps you in evaluating your partner. However love or feelings of the heart is nothing to rely on in partner selection. Man’s love is mostly fluctuating and cannot be a sure guide in selecting a suitable partner.
You have to learn how to balance romance with common sense, reason and discernment. You need to use your head when it comes to matters of the heart. Feelings are for us to enjoy but relying on them is what leads man to destruction. We have to lead our heart than to let our heart lead us. If you are madly in love with someone that you are not able to use your head you have to rethink because I bet you are in the relationship for your selfish needs.
Many believers turn off their reasoning because they think thinking through things is being carnal. That is far from the truth. Don’t try so hard to be spiritual. This is not being sarcastic! God is Spirit so let Him handle the spiritual part and you hand over your flesh to Him to use. Your mind is very important because whoever wins the battle in the mind has won the war. If the Word of God renews your mind and has control over your mind then God has won and you are not carnal but if things of the flesh and of this world dominate your mind then the devil has won.
Your head is the centre stage for any victory in life and partner selection is no different. In partner selection although love is important, you need to combine your head and heart to have a successful marriage. You have to study whoever you want to marry in terms of character, godliness and faithfulness. Your head is not for education only but also for partner selection. Do not forget the most important principle which is prayer. You have to spend a lot of time praying about it. Don’t say no to someone on the basis of not loving the person because love can be cultivated but pray to God and He will help you make the right decision.
